A me-shaped thing

I’ve been thinking a lot about the idea of self this year. Much of it is the “who am I? / what is this even?” that comes with turning 40. Some other portion is trying to find solid ground when it feels like the world is upside down and on fire.

Art has played into that, in music and writing. What is my voice? What does a me-shaped thing look like? And who do I rhyme with?

I started the year unsteady, but the more work I’ve put in to uncovering who I am, the more grounded I’ve felt. I’m sure this is me channeling my inner Tony Robbins (or whoever is en vogue these days), but maybe that’s the path through the muck of now - knowing who you are, what you value, and how you want to show up in the world.

The latter is the most concrete for me. I want to be someone who:

• makes space for others to be themselves
• leads with vulnerability and gives people access to pieces they keep locked up, while managing the cost of that
• lives as an example of a man who is whole and flawed, not trapped in shame and social programming
• can keep empathy alive without shutting down in a world that feels bleak sometimes

I dunno. I’m trying.